What Orifice Is Next?

Yesterday it was a shell casing in an ass, today it's marijuana in a vagina. Smells kind of fishy to us. Sorry folks, it was just hanging there and we just had to.

Read the entire article, then come on back for the analysis. We'll wait....................................................


Here are the two mopes who were arrested.

Luwanda Evelyn Dargan

Claunce Montrell Mazyck

Here is Luwanda's "Visual Curriculum Vitae":

We checked out the charges on the Charleston County site and learned the hero of the hour is an Officer J. Holt of the North Charleston Police Department. Based on what we read in the news article, Holt is to be commended for conducting one heck of an investigation. We like the way this story was written by the folks at Channel 5, who probably followed the report written by the officer, and laid out all of the little details that led the officer from one conclusion to the next. It was almost like watching an episode of 'Cops'.

Luwanda was charged with the marijuana possession, unlawful carrying of a pistol and unlawful possession of a pistol or ammunition by a person convicted of a violent felony. That last one has us intrigued because the charges listed below are the only ones we could find in the tri-county area. Short of checking the sites of every county in South Carolina we may never know what violent felony she was convicted of.

Judge Lombard set bonds of $5,000 on the marijuana possession charge and $50,000 each on the weapons charges. Still not high enough in our opinion, but getting better.

Mazyck has a criminal history in the Lowcountry dating back to 1992. In June of '92 he was charged with Grand Larceny and Larceny of a Bicycle.

Three weeks later he was charged with Assault & Battery With Intent to Kill and Armed Robbery.

All of the charges listed above were handled in court on 2 November, 1992. Mayzck was allowed to plead guilty to the grand larceny charge and the 9th Circuit Solicitor at the time (Schwake?) dropped all of the other charges. Mazyck was sentenced under the Youthful Offender Act to a prison term not to exceed six years.


By September of 1995 Mazyck was back at it. He was arrested for Robbery With a Deadly Weapon. Two years passed and the case was dropped in 1997 because the victim refused to cooperate. Maybe that was because it took two years. Or because the victim was intimidated by Mazyck into not cooperating with authorities. This seems to be a common refrain that shows up in his history.

In May of 1997 Mazyck was charged with Assault & Battery of a High and Aggravated nature. He pled guilty in 1998 and was sentenced to six years in prison, with credit for 460 days served.

Mazyck lied to an officer in June of 2001 and was charged with Giving False Information. He failed to appear in court and was found guilty in his absence. A bench warrant was issued for his arrest and was served in 2002. He was also charged with Distribution of Crack Cocaine and Distribution of Crack Near a School. These charges were dismissed in March of 2003 because Mazyck pled guilty in federal court to unknown charges.

June of 2001 brought charges of Distribution of Crack Cocaine. The charge was dismissed in 2003 because Mayzck pled guilty to federal charges. We don't know what those charges were.

Mazyck was arrested again in April of 2002 and charged with four counts of Assault & Battery With Intent to Kill. All four charges were dropped a month later because each of the victims refused to cooperate. The solicitor noted that Mayzck had been indicted by the feds. Again, we don't know what for.

In 2009 our thug was arrested for Accessory Before the Fact (Felony) and Accessory After the Fact. The solicitor dismissed the charges noting the Grand Jury did not hand down an indictment.

We will be monitoring the latest charges to see what happens in court.